Coming to grip with your sexuality is such a tumultuous proclamation. Especially for men and women who have chosen to get married and commit to being heterosexual.
When Joseph woke up on that warm Saturday morning in May. He knew three things about himself.
One was that he was not attractive to his wife anymore, two that he was having strange desires and three he wanted a divorce. Joseph worked as a line man for a utility company in a small town of 25,000 residents.
The nearest major city probably was a two hour drive south of him. The strange desire that Joseph was feeling were homosexual tendencies.
He coached a college bound high school soccer team at a school his daughter attended. But he knew he would have to let that go, due in part he had stirrings around the growing teens.
As far as he could fathom, his late uncle Chase was a cross dresser. He could remember how his mom would cover it up by saying he was just sick.
Moreover, the years of tormenting and making fun of his uncle, he now felt like his uncle. Trapped and disgusted with himself.
He was 41-years-old, married and had three kids who were in high school. His first inclination was to figure out how to tell his kids. And how will he live with the pain of disappointing his wife.
He had met his wife 23 years ago, right out of high school. As a result, they dated and got married and moved 30 miles away to where they live now.
His wife made her living dog walking and tutoring young teens in her home. She wasn’t a beauty queen, but she had a personality that lit up any dark room.
Joseph is not alone, there are thousand of married men going through the same type of dilemma. Some men stay in the marriage, cheat and live a double life. Others, divorce and eventually move on with their new gay partner.
I was watching this program many years ago, and the therapist asked his guest, who was a man fighting being gay. “Why did he choose to stay married to his wife, knowing good and well he was gay?”
The man stated he was scared and he knew if he told his wife his life would be over. However, his wife found out eventually after snooping around his personal things.
And the therapist told him (the age old saying) at some point in time, what you are doing in the dark will come to light. Even though, his wife found out on her own, something within her, lead her to believe that he was no longer the man she wanted in her bed.
Signs that indicate that Daddy is changing:
- Sex is not as exciting as it once was
- Late night rendezvous that does not include the family
- On the Internet all the time
- Always making excuses to avoid social activities with wife or the kids
- Change of appearance or dress
- Always having to use the phone
- Sit in a room away from the family gathering
- Very aggravated and moody
- Drinking a lot