When your relationship is heading to the next level, it can be a little overwhelming from anticipation of the unknown.

There can sometimes be concerns on sharing your personal wants and dislikes, and also the fear of hurting your significant other’s feelings.

Although these concerns are completely valid, communication is an important part of any relationship. It eliminates doubts and ensures that both people are satisfied.

How To Talk About Sex Topics

Avoid surprising your partner with the talk. Make sure that you prepare them with a good amount of time prior to the discussion. Allow yourself to be open to their responses and concerns as ell.

Give it your all to let them know that you are creating a safe space. It can seem intimidating at first. Before get yourself all worked about it, know that the sooner you and your partner open up to having discussions of desires, preferences, and sexual past, the less awkward it will be when you finally get to the “horizontal refreshments.”

Here are some sex topics that you might want to discuss with your sexual partner. 

Sexual History

This can include talks about possible exposure to diseases prior to meeting your new partner. Don’t feel embarrassed to ask about your partner’s past experiences with ex-partners that could be harmful to yourself. 

Ask about their sexual practices and what exactly do they view as risky behavior. Diseases can be a sensitive subject to touch, but suggesting that you both go to the doctor for an STD screening, either separately or together, is a great way in letting your partner know that this is for just as much for their own safety and reassurance as well.

Possible Past Sexual Traumas

Becoming sexually active again after surviving sexual assault, has to be one the bravest decision that an individual could make. IF, and only IF, the other person feels comfortable sharing in detail about their assault trauma, let them know that you are willing to contribute as much support and comfort in your new step together.

 Ask your partner about their time, days, places, language, and positions preferences. Understanding limits can better prepare you. For some, certain sexual contact can trigger upsetting memories, leaving an individual in distress.

Sexual Preferences

From fantasies to fetishes, there are a plethora of ways to talk about this, while making it fun.

Get silly! Have a glass a wine and let it all out. Feel free to ask about oils and lotions, dominance or submissions, costumes or role play. Hey, it’s your fantasy, so why not fantasize.

By do this, not only are you giving your partner ideas about what you’re into, but if you’re lucky they will also be a few laughs. Win, win.

Who Initiates

In the movies they make it look so natural, like both partners always want sex at the same time and it just sort of happens in a flurry of passion. But what if your sex life is not like that at all?

Some may say that it’s the man’s job, when speaking of a hetero relationship, but both of these ideologies could be wrong. Initiating sex isn’t everyone’s thing, and that’s okay. Make sure you convey what your preference is when it comes to that. You start, I start… hell, just start!


What are your frequency and consistency with sex? One might want it twice a day, while the other partner may be fine with twice a month. This can bring on many frustrations. Life schedules also can be a factor in sexual drives being different.

 You and your partner’s sexual drives don’t have to be totally in sync, but by talking about it early in your relationship, you are able to come to a healthy compromise where you both are happy.

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