By Dr. Lance McCarthy/Special Guest Contributor
With the era of dating apps, Black Love Conferences and the infamous Kevin Samuel’s Podcast, Black Dating has never been so wide and varied. The Khardashians only dating Black Men, Tiger Woods getting sued for $30m by his girl friend and the famous “Oscar” slap by Will Smith Black are having diverse methods of relationships.
Today, I was listening to a stat that said before integration 78% of Men were married and living in the house. However after welfare, 78 % of children are being raised by single Mothers. The advent of the WE Movement, ” No more scubs ” and ” I pay my own bills ” has caused intense challenges for Black Love.
In recession and trying economic times, people tend to go where security is. Hence one societal measure of security is age. It is denoted the older you are you should have money. Along these same lines of security is the older men . The new affectionate term is “Zaddy”.
Many young women have always been attracted to older men but trying economic times and social media have made it in vogue. The term use to be ” Sugar Daddy” but the new vernacular is Zaddy . A mixture of Daddy and Lover. Especially if you have the trending ” Grey Beard.”
Truthfully, dating a younger woman is an ego boost. Guys are giving you high five when the 28-year-old goes to the bathroom. They are saying ” OG I want to be like you when I grow up. ” However, the age difference causes some pause once you get to know the younger generation.
Dating younger women consists of non-stop texting , 100 selfies and twerking to anything . I was taught dating is an exchange of communication to include eye contact, holding hands and giggles. However twerking in the restaurant booth, talking to girlfriends about their hair and nails and arguing with their baby daddy about child support is the younger woman’s motives.
Many of these youngsters haven’t seen a two parent household, coupled with going to work and to church. Because of their age, their young Mothers are their friend versus being their patent. Discussing their sex acts, smoking cannabis, and going to the club is the normal between a Mother and daughter .
I knew there was a significant difference when I mentioned the Amazon river and she asked what I ordered. Or when I mentioned Sade and she asked was that a restaurant. Or when I was listening to Gospel Artist ” Kirk Franklin ” and she began to twerk . I said ” Lord please forgive them, for they do not know of what they do”
Conversations vary from Tattoo to eyebrows to smoking weed and extra late to events . What happened to literature , theatrical plays and museums?
The old dating scene consisted of holding hands, going to movies and home cooked meals . Now, it’s Door dash, frozen fries , “Twerking to Kirk” and No Cuddling .
Hence beware of the young girls fertility and them wanting children . You don’t want to forget taking you and the child on doctor appointments
I’m an advocate for free speech and love whoever you choose . However it is necessary to really analyze Black Love and get back on tract of stable relationships that help our culture progress and bring unity. Strong relationships build strong families that build a strong culture contributing to legacy
So, if you want to be a Zaddy, let me warn you that the field trip you are about to embark on is like “Boys in the Hood 2” Bring your pacifier.
Sir Lance is an economist and author with an emphasis on Black Economic Empowerment
His lecture include TED Talk , Harvard , White House and Digital Davos. He is a model, musician and poet.